I wondered how long I would have to wait for this moment.
Yep, that moment.
That moment where all is going swimmingly until one student simply says one statement too many.
The moment where your CT becomes so outraged over a student’s back-talking, a student’s not-so-polite comment, a student’s unnecessary chatter while the teacher is giving instruction, a student’s fill-in-the-blank random verbal contribution to classroom dynamic.
That moment the proverbial sh*t hits the proverbial classroom fan.
For me, that moment was yesterday.
Please indulge me and encourage me, for this occurrence left me a little shaken. And I am not easily shaken.
The students, Mr. Walker, and myself had long been enthralled in a discussion regarding the day’s journaling theme: “Which of the seven deadly sins is your favorite and why?” I was so intrigued at this perpetual tenacity with which the students chimed in: “Gluttony! Eating is so much fun!” “I like lust!” (class giggles, as expected). “Wrath’s my favorite, because you can think of evil ways to get back at people who piss you off.” Hey, it worked for Dante… The students were almost giddy in their responses, and Mr. Walker agreed with some students and gave his own light-hearted view: “Mmmmmm. Gluttony by far. I suppose wrath has some fun potential, too…” The discussion was quick-witted, propelled by differing opinions, and honestly, a great way to begin class. After the discussion, Mr. Walker began explaining to the class their in-class assignment for the day—a writing prompt carousel (great idea for an ELA classroom! Curious? See me for details!). There was no reason whatsoever to suspect that Mr. Walker’s mood would shift so abruptly, no hint of the impending tongue-lashing anguish.
I must stop for a second and explain something. I participate in an AP class. They are phenomenally brilliant kids; sometimes I think they’re smarter than I am. Which is scary. And intimidating. And I might lose sleep over planning a lesson that will cater to their smartness. Anyway. Phenomenal brilliance aside, sometimes these students lack impulse control. And by sometimes, I mean…frequently. Mr. Walker has lightly scolded them on multiple occasions, admonishing that it is not necessary to say every little thing that pops into their brains. And it’s true; these advanced minds are quick to reach a conclusion about e v e r y t h i n g, and more often than not, many of the students say something that isn’t exactly on-topic or appropriate. And then this spontaneous verbal output becomes a conduit for other ridiculously off-topic conversations. (Think: starting with the seven deadly sins, ending with a debate about whether or not Santa would be eligible for Medicare in multiple countries. Yes. That. Far. Off. Topic.) And as amazing as it is to witness the students’ minds at the peak of mental aerobics, as a teacher I know that this does not lead to a productive day’s work.
That being said, as Mr. Walker was explaining the directions and objective for the writing prompt carousel, it happened. One student—I don’t know who—quipped something about the writing prompt activity. I did not even hear what was said. But I do know it was not rude, it was not back-talk, and it was actually relevant to the activity. Nevertheless, this student had interrupted Mr. Walker. I thought nothing of this, as it had happened many times before. Then, I became aware of an eerie silence permeating the classroom. Uncomfortable. TOO uncomfortable. Oh frick. I looked over at Mr. Walker. In about .008 seconds, I deduced that he had had it. I waited for the floodgates to open. And then it happened.
“REALLY PEOPLE?!?!?! IS IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO HAVE ONE FREAKING CLASS AND GIVE ONE FREAKING SET OF INSTRUCTIONS WITHOUT ONE FREAKING PERSON FREAKING INTERRUPTING ME ONE FREAKING TIME?!?!”
The oxygen was sucked from the room. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t move. And I sure as hell couldn’t look at Mr. Walker.
We’ve all been students, and we’ve all been yelled at. Getting yelled at sucks. I don’t care how old you are. But this outburst was especially intense, because Mr. Walker likes to compound his loud admonishments with moments of deafening silence—extra-long moments of deafening, soul-crushing silence. It’s the kind of silence that made me want to run from the classroom into the solace of the girls’ restroom—a place Mr. Walker couldn’t go. I can appreciate silence for its, well, silent quality, but I was so uncomfortable I thought I might cry. Now, don’t get me wrong; I was in no way guilty of anything, and I knew it. Yet that palpable shred of comfort was nowhere to be found. I was consumed by awkwardness and guilt. (And trust me, so were the students; I’ve never seen such seriousness on their faces.) This entire time, I was seated among them. I might as well as have been one of them.
I needed relief. A sweet respite from the suffocating silence. I need noise.
Little did I know, my salvation was drawing nigh.
Just as Mr. Walker began the sequel to his angry verbal eruption, the fire alarm went off.
Seriously, I could not have scripted this better, people.
In one collective exhaling, the students and I breathed a beautiful sigh of relief. We were free. Well, at least for the next five minutes as we meander outside and proceed to the obligatory 100-feet mark from the building. As we were walking sprinting from the classroom, Mr. Walker asserted, “Yeeeaah. This is probably a faaaaantastic time to be leaving my classroom.” Apparently, he needed to calm down too.
Upon re-entering the classroom, everyone—including Mr. Walker—seemed refocused and much, much more pleasant. He finished describing the task at hand, and the students listened. No one said a word.
This whole incident left me thinking: How will I address being interrupted in my classroom? Will I react the same way every time, regardless of my mood? How can my students and I come to an agreement that we will not interrupt one another and will respect each other’s opinions? How will I keep from totally losing it on my “bad days?” (Feel free to share your thoughts.)
When I left for the day and walked to my car, I realized how nauseated I was. I think it was by sheer force of will that I didn’t bolt from my seat or vomit in front of everyone during the interrogation. Vomit rarely improves any situation, I have concluded.
6 comments:
What a conclusion. :) Your vernacular is inspiring.
Here are my earth-shattering thoughts on the whole situation: yelling is never appropriate, and never okay. Bam.
I'm not sure if my opinions will be worth much after reading Ms. Voran's, but I'll sure try! I think as long as we remember "routines and procedures" we won't have to worry about having to yell to be heard. I actually had to quiet the class down today while I was teaching my lesson. I ALWAYS smile. I'm not sure if it's caused by excitement, nervousness, gas, or a combination of all three; I just enjoy smiling. So when I said "Quiet down and listen guys," I was not smiling. They got quiet SO FAST, I actually lost my train of thought. It was a bit scary how fast they listened, so I feel like getting the stink eye or death ray (whichever you prefer) look down is key. Hopefully it'll get to the point where a look will be sufficient, and not a word needs to be said.
Now concerning the "bad days" dilemma...I think you'll need extra glass panes on hand :) Everyone has bad days, and sometimes people lose their cool. I fear doing this because I don't want them to lose respect for me. Possibly having a pillow on hand that you can take out into the hall and scream into, or counting to ten slowly?
Ahhh Mrs. Leighton, once again your way with the written word has astounded me. My favorite thing. When you spaced out the word e v e r y t h i n g, to make us read it like you would say it. I love writing, and I know there is a voice within some of my writing, but I do not believe I have found a way to put my voice in my blog post the way you have. Feel free to take a small bow, you deserve to!
Now on to your dilemma. This has happened with me several times in my English classroom. I have a handful of students who seem to have made it their goal to push my CT and me to our limits. How does my CT react? She starts screaming like Mr. Walker did, though she does not use even toned down profanity. Where does that get her? Well usually it does calm down the class, but for the wrong reason. They calm down because they are scared of being yelled at again, not because they respect my CT. When students push my buttons, I do one of three things. Either I move by them, giving them a silent look they know is disappointment or quietly telling them what behavior they should engage in. My second strategy is moving them to an empty desk, if no empty desks are there, then I have them switch seats with another student (students hate being moved so they learn from their mistakes, and others learn for their mistakes as well). My third and last strategy is one that has proved most effective for a more consistent change. I wait for one of those distracting students to do something that is on task. When they are engaged in the proper activity I walk over to their desk and tell them I appreciate their hard work. This usually warrants a smile and a continuing of the behavior throughout the hour. I also try to employ this strategy more than the other two.
What if I do not have a clue who made the comment? I simply face the whole class, remind them what the proper behavior is, and go back to the board. This is a great way for me to vent "my steam" right then and there without screaming or getting crazy. I find that students often come to respect this approach more than screaming or getting crazy as well.
Wow! What a crazy day! At least you learned from this experience how NOT to react when you are interrupted! I understand that sometimes it is necessary to law down the law in the classroom but this definitely seems like overkill!
I think respect in the classroom is vital to having successful classroom management and productive class sessions. And I think respect starts with the teacher. If you do not show respect to your students from day one, they are never going to respect you. I think every students has that right until they have done something deserving of having it taken away.
As far as interruptions go, that is another thing entirely. I have often gotten interrupted in the classroom while trying to give instructions and I understand how it can be frustrating! However, I always try to keep me cool. My go to method is stopping my instructions and waiting for the class to be quiet before continuing. In my experience, this has always worked. And usually it does not take long for the students to quiet down.
Good luck in your classroom and with your CT!
Beautiful, beautiful writing. I have to agree, reading the words you write, the way you write them is a delight. Thank you so much.
I am curious about this "writing prompt carousel." What is it?
I can totally imagine the kinds of minds that go from the seven deadly sins to Santa with global medicare. Sounds like they need a set time to be able to go off topic. Like institute a coffee house Friday or something. I would have loved to have had a similar outlet in school. I know, I know there should be a way to vent that outside of school, but there are some students with few friends and families that don't talk. But this free verse discussion needs to be planned and then left out of the everyday. Maybe.
I am sorry you got so uncomfortable with the yelling situation. Teachers are human too. However much we try to hide it from the students. I wouldn't have minded the yelling so much myself, especially if it occurs rarely. Even as a student, but I always realized that humans are fallible. I am a firm believer in apologizing, moving on and trying not to yell next time though. The pillow idea is a nice thought but I fear mostly we will have to make due with self-control and margaritas after work.
Did your CT ever appologize to you or the students for losing his cool? I am in a middle school where students act like this everyday, even though they are not advanced. Yelling does not seem to affect them, the only thing that gets under their skin is taking time off of their passing period.
Post a Comment